The hunt for one to three suspects was taking place near a San Bernardino, California, center for people with developmental disabilities, where at least 14 people were killed Wednesday, Police Chief Jarrod Burguan told reporters.
Fourteen other people were wounded in the shooting, Burguan said.
SWAT teams and the bomb squad were working to clear the buildings where the shootings took place.
Source: CNN
More than 350 mass shooting events in the US only this year 2015 registered by shootingtracker.com
Spy World in – Miami – has been attracting parents that are
concerned with their teenagers for years like the things written above.
The teen years are often considered the most difficult
period of a person’s life. After all, how often do you hear anyone over the age
of 30 wistfully say, “Oh, to be 15 again…”? – (stay tuned to what’s happening
in there lives.)
Probably never.
It’s a vulnerable time of life as teens attempt to navigate
the precarious bridge between childhood and adulthood. And one of the most
challenging decisions, for an age group that’s ill-prepared to make difficult
choices, is whether to start using alcohol or drugs.
On the one hand, adolescence is a time of self-exploration.
One could argue that it’s perfectly natural and normal to want to try new things,
such as getting high or drunk for the first time. However, others would argue –
and wisely so – that adolescents, by virtue of their young age and lack of life
experience, aren’t prepared for the consequences that often follow.
Regardless of which side of the argument you find yourself,
most teens will experiment with alcohol and / or drugs at some point – for many
different reasons. Following are 10 of the most common:
1. Peer pressure
Peer pressure is a powerful force at any
stage of life, but it’s especially influential during adolescence. At a time
when kids are trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in –when
insecurities can be fierce – the desire to be accepted and liked makes saying
“no” extremely difficult. Saying no can also have painful consequences, ranging
from being laughed at or mildly teased, to being humiliated, rejected, and even
bullied.
Peer pressure often comes as the devil in sheep’s clothing.
The “cool kid” who says, “Hey, it’s just weed” or “it’s my dad’s prescription, so of course it’s safe!” Or the popular girl who’s hosting a party while her parents are out of town, encouraging everyone to “drink up” and just have fun – after all, who’s going to know if no one tells?
2. To look and feel “grown-up”
Adolescents often want to be treated like adults. “I’m not a
kid anymore” is a frequent mantra, especially when they want privileges that
come with age – like using alcohol. It’s no surprise that they’re drawn to
things that make them feel like an adult – older, more mature, more
sophisticated. Drinking, smoking, and drug use can all boost that feeling;
“Hey, look at me, I’m all grown up now.” With those behaviors comes the
illusion that one is truly mature – and thus can handle anything. Sadly, one
bad incident can quickly shatter it and remind them just how young and
vulnerable they still are. But until such an event, they naively believe that
“bad things” happen only to “other kids.” They overestimate their maturity and
underestimate their vulnerability.
3. Modeling parents’ behavior
Teens that grow up with parents who abuse alcohol or drugs often follow suit. After all, that’s what they know and what
they’ve learned. Not to mention, if one or both parents are actively using they
often have easy access as well. Not only does the apple often not fall far from
the tree, kids often mimic their parents’ behaviors – both good and bad.
Granted, some kids will do the very opposite and shun all
substances, wanting to avoid the very thing that ruined their parents’ lives or
led to traumatic childhood experiences, such as abuse or neglect.
4. Curiosity
Curiosity not only “killed the cat,” it also can be a very
seductive temptress. The desire to try new things and explore the world didn’t
suddenly shut off when puberty commenced. In fact, it often becomes even
stronger. Most teens have a lot more autonomy (and some have way too much) than
they did as children. They’re less closely supervised and often left home alone
for chunks of time while mom and dad are still at work or out for the evening.
The desire to find out what it feels like to get drunk or
high – “just this once,” of course – can be very strong. Not to mention,
“Everybody experiments – don’t they?” can be a very compelling rationale.
Unfortunately, far too many kids end up in alcohol or drug rehab treatment down
the road due to some ill-fated need to satisfy their curiosity.
5. Boredom
It’s been said that “idle hands are the devil’s tools” – and
similarly, that an “idle mind is the devil’s playground.” In other words,
boredom can quickly get anyone – and especially a restless teen – into all
sorts of trouble. It’s even worse for teens who have bored friends. Passing the
time with a few beers or a few hits with friends (or even alone) is often a
slippery slope to addiction.
6. Self-medication
Teens who struggle with a lot of emotional pain are
especially vulnerable to alcohol and drug abuse. They use these substances –
just like many adults – as a way to self-medicate. They know that getting high or getting drunk will, at least temporarily, numb
or ease their pain and provide them with a means of escape. These substances
can also appear to ease the problem. For example, a socially awkward or
extremely shy teen may use alcohol in a desperate attempt to feel more
comfortable around others. A teen living in a conflicted home environment may
resort to drugs to shut out the world for a while – or at least make it feel a
little more bearable.
7. Rebellion
Teens like to assert their budding maturity and test the
limits with their parents. Those with nagging, overprotective, or strict
parents often lash out in a passive-aggressive manner. Rather than talking to
mom and dad about their frustrations, such as what they perceive as overly
strict rules, religious hypocrisy, or constant nagging, they may rebel by using
alcohol or drugs — especially if they know that doing so will make their
parents angry or embarrassed.
8. Ignorance
Let’s face it, most teens don’t know what’s good for them
and what’s not. Not because they’re not bright, but because they simply don’t
have enough information or experience. Experimenting with alcohol or drugs
often seems innocent enough– in fact, it’s often regarded as a sort of
adolescent “rite of passage.” Many teens feel entitled to experiment at this
age, as if they’re expected to do so and therefore should do so. What many
don’t realize is that it’s neither innocent nor harmless.
For those on the outside looking in, it seems like everyone
who’s “doing it” is having fun, and they’re the ones who are missing out. What
they don’t yet see (and haven’t yet learned to minimize or rationalize) is all
the vomiting after drinking too much, the hangover the next morning, or the
sickening “what have I done?” morning-after feeling when they’ve just woken up
in a strange place or realized that the needle they used was dirty. Even worse
is finding themselves in a jail cell or mourning the death of a friend who
drove home drunk. The bliss of ignorance can be quickly shattered.
9. To have fun
Getting drunk or high with friends sounds fun — in the
moment. What isn’t fun about spending time with friends, sharing an intensely
pleasurable drug-induced euphoria or the disinhibiting effects of alcohol? The
silliness, the slurred words, the stumbling, the bizarre behavior – all of
those things can be very entertaining and make for great stories the next day
or down the road. Of course, it’s all just good old teenage fun – until someone
is seriously injured, has to face a judge, or winds up on a cold slab in a
morgue.
10. They’ve become addicted
Teens don’t use alcohol or drugs with the intent of becoming
addicted. In fact, since part of adolescence is the still-intact belief that
you’re invincible. “Addiction? What’s that? Only losers who use or drink excessively
or for years become addicted, right? But not me – I’m just experimenting,
having fun with my friends, or seeking a temporary escape from my crappy life.”
Oh, to be 15 again – and believe that becoming an addict is something that
could never happen to you.
Talk to your teen. If you’re the parent of a pre-teen or adolescent, talk to him
or her today about the dangers of alcohol and drugs. Don’t lecture. Don’t
condescend. Don’t be dramatic. Just talk – openly and directly. Talk to your
child from a place of unconditional love, genuine concern, understanding, and
heartfelt compassion, recognizing the challenges and temptations that are so
insidious and prevalent at that age. Understand just how vulnerable and easily
influenced teens are.
Do everything you can, today and going forward, to keep the
doors of communication as wide open as possible, so that tomorrow, or next
week, or next year your child will know that he or she can talk to you, confide
in you, and ask you questions about alcohol or drugs. Hopefully, by doing so,
your teen can avoid the dangerous landmines that devastate and destroy the
lives of so many young people.
If your teen is already abusing alcohol or drugs, don’t
hesitate to seek help. Contact an addiction specialist or local alcohol and
drug treatment facility for guidance in confronting the problem, and to
determine the best options for treatment. Make that call today, because
tomorrow may be too late.
Writing credit goes to Promise treatment Center
1. Lack of sexual satisfaction in your primary relationship. This was the most common reason cited by individuals in the Omarzu study. Recall that the large majority of the sample were women. Both women and men who enter into affairs are hoping to improve their sex lives. They may enjoy many other mutual activities but, for whatever reason, the sex is not working out for them.
2. Desire for additional sexual encounters. This was a relatively infrequent reason cited by the individuals in this study. It’s possible that more people had this as a reason but didn’t want to admit to it as it is not a very socially desirable wish to articulate. For example, one man in the study stated that he felt he needed more sex in his life to reward him for performing well at his job.
3. Lack of emotional satisfaction in your primary relationship. Seeking emotional intimacy can be nearly as compelling a reason to have an affair as can seeking physical intimacy. Participants who stated the need for emotional closeness in an affair felt they were lacking a connection to their primary partners.
4. Wanting emotional validation from someone else. Being appreciated is a key factor in the emotional connection that partners feel toward each other. Partners may grow apart and, as they do, fail to acknowledge the needs that both have in their relationship.
5. Falling out of love with your partner. This was a relatively insignificant reason in the Omarzu study, perhaps because “love” is so difficult to define. In the grand scheme of things, having sexual and emotional intimacy seems to trump love.
6. Falling in love with someone new. Very few people indicated that they had fallen head over heels for the person with whom they had the affair. Again, emotional intimacy plus sexual closeness seems to be a more important factor that leads partners to stray.
7. Your wanting to seek revenge. In a relationship that is already suffering, the desire to hurt a partner who is (or is perceived as) cheating seems to raise the stakes significantly from mere lack of intimacy. Hollywood enjoys exploiting this category (think “American Beauty”), but in reality very few participants cited this as the main cause of their affairs.
8. You’re curious and want new experiences. People who cited this reason felt that they wanted something new, this motivation went beyond curiosity and into some type of contest to measure their sexual prowess. It might have been less complicated for them to compete on the tennis court or golf course, but the allure of someone and something new led them to choose this particular form of challenge.